Jet lag

The first few times I actually enjoyed having a jet lag. You wake up early and can get more stuff done in a day. If you actually manage to stay awake through the mean afternoon tiredness that feels as if someone does pull ups on your eyelids, you will be wide awake in the evening and can go out till late. And wake up really early again.

I also liked the fact that I wasn't hungry during the day and, consequently, lost a few pounds. And it made the trip to far away places more exciting because you feel out of place and very different from how you feel without the jet lag. I felt like being in a bubble and perceived my environment in a very different way than I would have otherwise.

When I still lived in Europe and had to travel for work to California, the jet lag worked perfectly with my schedule. I woke up early and dealt with things at home and had even time to work out. Then I went to the local office and met people while things became quiet at home. I got to go home relatively early, took a nap or not, depending on the intensity of the pull ups, and went out with friends after. And woke up early again.

Over time and with age, I'm not such a big fan anymore. It's getting harder and harder to stay awake long enough to not wake up in the middle of the night. And when you wake up at 2am there's really nothing you can do. Then you lie awake for hours and fall asleep again at 6am only to be torn out of the deepest sleep by your 7am alarm. And, most of the time, you don't even know where you are.

The not hungry part is replaced by general nausea. Which does not only make me not want to eat but not want to do anything. I cannot think properly, I forget even more things than usual and I'm unable to make decisions or plans. I just want to sleep and not wake up until this is over. And, as if that wasn't enough, every other time when I travel, I catch some bug and arrive or come back home sick. So, in general, it takes me at least one week to really come back home after having traveled to Europe or Asia. Which really sucks when you haven't been home in weeks and really want to see and catch up with all your friends. But then you really just want to sleep until this week of adjusting is over and you're a real person again. It's as if I was a plant that go repot. It takes a while for your body to understand where you are and how it should behave, when it should be tired, when awake, and hungry. If you come back from a month vacation in New Zealand, you can then enjoy the reviving impact the vacation had on your body and mind. But, if you travel for work, that does not happen.

Now that I live in California and travel to Europe for work, the schedule is the worst. You wake up in the morning and you're already behind on work. You meet with the European colleagues and don't get much work done. And in the afternoon, the US folks wake up and require your attention and you can only meet with them in the evening. You're constantly tired, don't have time for work or catching up on sleep.

Don't get me wrong. I know I'm blessed to be able to travel to so many places due to my job and my travel schedule is actually moderate. Nevertheless, I do loose at least a month each year to this readjustment which is really, really sad. But then, every now and then, you land in another country, tired as hell, it's raining, and the plane takes forever to get to the gate, and this happens:

P.S.: Sorry for sneaking in all these cat pictures. I thought that "Yawn" pics would make you better understand what I'm talking about. *Yawn*

Homesick

Home. Recently I thought that my home is now San Francisco. More precise, my room in Barry's apartment. My things, my smell, the cat, my friends. Traveling seemed to have become a nuisance, taking me away from the place and people I love.

But, maybe I'm wrong? What if home is with me wherever I go, wherever I am? What if it is inside of me and I carry it with me to every place I go? Thinking of home like that makes me feel calm. Less restless and impatient when I have to stand in another airport check-in line, wait for the plane to leave, or my bags to arrive. It allows me to enjoy myself wherever I am instead of longing to return to where I want to be instead. I don't need to come home because I am home. No matter where I am.

What does this internal home feel like? Do you know how you feel when you are in a perfect place, like a houseboat on a lake in summer? With all the people you love, good food, the warm sun, perfect glassy water, and nowhere else to be? Feeling loved, rested, peaceful, complete. Nothing is missing. Nothing you'd rather do and nowhere else you'd rather be. A place that makes you think "I could die right here and right now because I know it won't get any better than this." 

So from now on when I'm on the road, in a meeting that doesn't seem to end, on a plane for hours on end or in any other place or situation that used to make me angry, impatient, and wish I was anywhere but in that place, I will just remember my inner home, the best place in the world!