Girlhood

When I was little I often wanted to be a boy. Not in a transgender kind of way. Just because it seemed like so much easier and so much more fun. I never liked dresses or skirts, or played with the dolls that I kept getting as presents, and I never really understood why girls were nice one day and mean the next. I preferred hanging out with boys and, most of the times, the boys were okay with that. I never cried unless I got really hurt. I loved to get dirty, and was usually bolder than most of them. It was so much easier being with boys. Granted, they could get a little annoying at times, or play a little too rough but they were never really mean. They were less moody, more predictable, and they did more fun things, such as play sports, climb trees, play with model cars and trains, Lego, etc. But I did like to hang out with girls, too. There are some things that only girls understand and that are way more fun with girls, than with boys. Yeah, talking about boys was one of them. But it always puzzled me how girls could be the loveliest and nicest creatures one day and heartless mean bitches the next. I was just too naive to assume that I could trust everybody in this world. Not a good idea. I'm still like that, though. Just more careful and more experienced in trusting my gut feeling.

People mistook me for a boy quite often. Given my skinny physique, my preference for hanging out with boys, my boldness, my usually bruised elbows and knees, and the fact that I wore my brother's old clothes most of the time, vs. the pink outfits that my parents had bought me in a desperate attempt to "disguise me as a girl". Most of the times I didn't really care if that happened. Sometimes it was annoying, especially the one time when my hair was long but I had pulled it up into a ponytail. And sometimes it was kind of fun. Like that time when every girl had to leave the boys' tent in summer camp and I didn't. When, on vacation, two girls had a crush on me and my parents cracked up every time at lunch when they walked in to our cafe at the hotel, looked over to where I sat and blushed and looked away when I looked over and grinned. 

It was just one of the things that seemed unavoidable when I grew up. And I was okay with it. In fact, once my body started changing I was actually a little sad. I loved to go topless without everyone staring at you or looking away. Even more so now that I live in the US where it's not even legal. And something else happened, too. Suddenly, the boys became a little awkward with me. And it became a little awkward to hang with the boys. That was the saddest part. It seemed like I had lost most of my friends. Much later, however, I would realize that I had also gained access to a large pool of people I could have all other kinds of fun with.

Also, I think that restrooms should be unisex everywhere! That will spare a whole lot of boys and girls embarrassing moments and impossible decisions.