The Age of Zero Fucks Given

I love being 40. Early forties. Apart from the frequent reminders of my body that I am not 20 anymore, like after a day of snowboarding when even washing my hands was a motion that caused my sore muscles to hurt so bad. Let alone walking. Other than that it's fabulous. You really do not give one fuck anymore. Am I living the right life, having the right job, wearing the right clothes, saying the right things, dating the right guy? Who cares? No one does, really.

In fact, I noticed that more people envy or admire me for the life that I live. I used to think that I was a big failure, not being married, no kids. Almost everyone else had that. But then, I saw people getting divorced. Friends being unhappy in their marriage, with the kids, the house, the mortgage and the full time job. I have friends who are happy and who have great kids and a working marriage. But that must have been a lot of work. And I truly hope for them that it will be worth it in the long run. Like it seem to have been for my parents. Or it seems to be for my brother. I wouldn't want to miss my sister in law or my nieces but I do see how hard is has been for them and still is.

I know that this is a popular subject for single, childless women my age. But the way I approach it is like a curious scientist, like a child seeing a rainbow for the first time. When I see friends who get married or have children I can't help to ask the question "Why?". What makes them do it? Why don't I feel like doing the same thing? What makes me different?

And then, I see that I am not that different. So many other people finally realized that they do not have to get married. That they don't have to have children, not even a relationship to be truly happy or normal (whatever that means). It's just one option. Not the defined goal that you have to reach to not be regarded as a failure. We're over that. What is the goal, anyway? And how hard has one to work towards it?

I know one thing. I am happy where I am right now and I wouldn't want to have anyone else's life. It wasn't always easy on my way here. And it won't always be easy in the future. But I know one thing: Giving zero fucks about what other people think you should be or do is the best advice I can give.